"All I want is for them to let me see my babies" - A man victim of domestic violence breaks his silence

When we talk about domestic violence, we have in mind the image of the female victim, who is being abused by the bully. Searching the internet, all the images related to domestic violence depict women as victims. Even if the victim's face is not clearly visible, the female figures stand out. But what if the role of the two sexes is reversed? Can a woman use violence against a man? Certainly, because of the stereotypes that exist about how the two sexes behave, it is not easy to talk about men victims of domestic violence. As much as from time to time various media outlets promote such stories, unfortunately they are not heard and do not receive the same acceptance as those that have women victims. However, in the weeks leading up to the scandalous trial of actors Johnny Depp and Amber Heard in the United States, things began to change. So, day by day, the voices of those who claim that violence has no gender and is reprehensible wherever it comes from are increasing. This is the message that George wants to convey. A man in his 40s, who left his wife a few years ago in an attempt to escape.

“I'm tired”

Late last week, “P” published an article entitled “When will they realize that violence is not a & # 8220; privilege & # 8221; only men? ' George contacted “P” on the occasion of the specific text, expressing the desire to speak. “I'm tired of keeping it to myself”, was his answer to the question why now, to add “I'm sure he has others and they are ashamed to say it”. As George explained to “P”, who allowed us to use only his first name, when he was a student he met a girl whom he fell in love with. “We were so madly in love that at the age of six months I proposed to her and everyone told me that I had made the best choice,” said George, shaking his head ironically, adding that “the woman I married has nothing to do with the one who I met after marriage and especially after she became pregnant “. Somewhere here we should mention that George with this woman had two daughters, whom he has been seeing for months.

The first tensions

The first child came almost three years after the marriage, which caused various problems for the couple. They both really wanted a child, but the fact that they had some difficulties, combined with the indiscreet questions of relatives and friends, brought tensions between the couple. George, as he says, was very positive and optimistic, unlike his ex-wife, who had demands. “Shortly before she became pregnant, she started telling me that it was my fault that she did not have a child,” says George, stressing that things got worse when she found out she was pregnant. According to him, she became more aggressive, started talking badly to him and cursing him. “I had thrown it in the pregnancy hormones and I refused to see the real picture,” he said, when asked why he did not react. At the same time, he noted that he did not react because he did not want to make things worse, but also because he loved her. Asked what his feelings are for that woman today and if he still loves her, he replied that for years, even after the separation, he loved her, which fortunately is not the case today. After the birth of the first child, the situation had improved for some time, with George admitting that her child was distracting.

For the sake of the children

The problems actually started in the second pregnancy, with George stating that in several cases he was patient for the sake of the children. Until then, he had not used physical violence, but he was constantly on the nerves and had become more aggressive. Shortly after the birth of the second child, George lost his job and due to an accident for a long time could not work. This brought new tensions and problems in his relationship with his wife. “Suddenly, I became useless who could not provide the necessities for his family,” said George, obviously disappointed, adding that for a long time he had believed it. The situation worsened when the wife returned to work and George stayed at home with the children. “The first time he hit me was when he had returned from work and found that I had not washed the dishes,” said George, while it is worth noting that the couple's two daughters were present at the incident, with the eldest being only three years. “She threw her bag in my face and then apologized, claiming she did it by mistake,” he said, adding that he could not understand what had happened. From that day on, according to George, his wife had ups and downs in her behavior, while she was beaten many times. “Everyone had the impression that my wife was an angel, but only I know what I pulled with her,” said George, when asked if anyone around them had realized what was happening at home. Nor did he, however, want anyone in his family or friends to know how he was doing. “I could not tell them that my wife was beating me,” he said, “I was ashamed and I was sure they would point fingers at me,” he added. Because of his shame, he got married and lived under the same roof with this woman for eight years.

“I have to see my children for a year”

As George explains, he decided to leave the toxic environment in which he lived, on the occasion of a question asked by his eldest daughter. She was then only 5 years old and decided that it was right to hit a classmate of hers, without any friction between them. Asked by her father why she did this, her answer was “so does mom”. “When I heard this, I realized that I had to act, not for me but for the children,” said George, noting that the same night he asked for a divorce. The wife not only refused but, according to him, threatened him that if he divorced her he would tell everyone that he was crazy and that he was beating her. The next morning, instead of taking the babies to school, George picked them up and left the house. This brought a complaint to the Police for abduction of minors, with him trying for years to prove that there was a reason he did it. All this happened four years ago, with George and his wife in court ever since. Answering the question what is what he expects today, George said characteristically “I do not ask them to believe me but to give me my children”. At the same time, he expressed concern that his children may also be victims of domestic violence and he can not help them, as they have no contact with him. While the court has allowed him to see them twice a week, in the last year, his ex-wife, finding various reasons, removed him from his children. “The last time I saw my daughters was at her birthday, last year at such a time,” said George, obviously excited, adding that “at the end of the month, at the baby's birthday and I do not know if he will let me go to see her”. Asked if he regretted leaving home, he replied that no such thing had ever happened and that he would continue to try to be with his children one day. “I may be the only one speaking, but surely there are others and they should speak,” said George, hoping that his action would awaken those in charge to take the issue more seriously. “It is not possible to complain that my wife beat me and ask me, but how did this happen, and to claim that a woman can not beat a man”, said George with a complaint, to conclude that “violence will it should be reprehensible wherever it comes from and not when we hear about male victims of domestic violence turning our eyes away from the other.

Source: politis.com.cy

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“All I want is for them to let me see my babies” – A man victim of domestic violence breaks his silence

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